DO know your audience.
A lover whose idea of "dirty" (and we're talking good dirty) is doing it with the lights on is probably not going to appreciate a ball gag (for instance), and the vegetarian in your life could happily do without that set of leather cuffs, no matter how amazing the detailing. Keep the recipient's personal outlook and the unique aspects of your shared relationship in mind and you can't go wrong.

DON'T shop selfishly.
Uncomfortable lingerie that he'd like to look at but she'll never wear, or a collection of erotica that she'd like him to read aloud to her aren't exactly in line with the spirit of giving selflessly. Banish such selfserving ideas to your own wish list, and instead make sure the gift you're giving is one the recipient will themselves enjoy and find useful.

DO give G-rated gifts, too.
You want your recipient to feel like a sex deity, not a sex object. So balance out anything Dionysian with a gift or two in honor of the other, nonlibidinous facets of their personality. The unexpected thrill of an erotic gift will be amplified when it's presented alongside a limited edition title signed by their favorite author or a pair of tickets to that new play they've been dying to see.

DON'T scrimp on quality or sophistication..
If anything should be well made and well designed, it's the products that engage our sexuality. Be sure not to offer a novelty gift if your goal is to present a lasting token of affection. Do your research – Is it made from safe, durable materials? Is it backed by a brand and warranty that you trust? Has it been favorably reviewed? Is it easy on the eyes? If the answer to any of these questions is "no", the gift may not be elegant enough to meet your needs.

How to Get More Bang for Your Gifting Buck

Diamonds can be anyone's best friend (or bedfellow), whether they're hanging on a necklace or embedded in an Everlasting Vibrator. Of course, for most of us, times are still tough – and if money can't buy you love, it certainly can't buy you genuine, unbridled passion. Fear not, there's no need to dedicate a month's pay to any gift, provocative or otherwise. You can opt for an aphrodisiac Massage Oil Candle, a body-safe Vibrating Ring, a discreet Bullet, or even some high-design, high-end condoms – all are under $35.

For an additional twist, consider a D.I.Y. element – write up an IOU for a full-hour body massage, knit a colorful cozy for a beloved sex accessory, or offer an opportunity to try that thing they've always been curious about.

(E.g, if spanking is their secret fantasy, wrap up a ping pong paddle with an explanatory note – written in your best cursive, of course.) Any of these options still serve the higher purpose of a suggestive gift – to introduce new provocative possibilities – and they do so at a fraction of the cost. Which bring us to Eternal Truth #73 – That a gift came from the heart is far more important than how much it lightened the wallet. Cliché? though it may be, it really is the thought that counts.

Download the complete How to Give Pleasure Gift Guide