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Overcoming Vibrator Envy

Overcoming Vibrator Envy

What about vibrator envy?

Introducing a vibrator into your relationship can easily be misinterpreted to mean that something was wrong or missing, and can cause your partner to have misgivings about this newcomer.

  • It's helpful to be reminded that using a vibrator alone, and being with a partner (with or without a vibrator) are two very different experiences. Masturbating alone does not replace the desire to be with a partner – indeed, it can actually increase it.
  • To remove one conscious and/or subconscious concern for men, start with a vibrator that is smaller than he is. It may sound silly, but it's a simple consideration that can make a significant difference in your first experiences together.
  • Until you're both comfortable, use your new vibrator together so that it develops as a shared experience.
  • Understanding what your partner enjoys takes time, practice, and above all, communication. Women who masturbate and/or use vibrators often learn a great deal about what feels good for them – and are then able to share this information with their partner. A lot can be learned by simply paying attention to how each of you enjoys using a vibrator most.
  • Take turns holding the vibrator, using it to show one another what feels good. Having one person hold the vibrator while the other guides their hand can be very instructive – and exciting for both of you. It also ensures that everyone remains involved and connected.