Smitten

Two Guys Weigh In: How to Introduce Your Boyfriend to Your Vibrator. Plus Jimmyjane's Latest Vibrator!

When we chat about vibrators here on Smitten, lots of readers express interest and curiosity. However, many worry about how their boyfriends will react to using a vibrator while fooling around, or often, they worry their boyfriends will feel intimidated or even insecure about the addition. So for some truly expert advice on the matter, I asked two guys (who happen to design some of the coolest vibrators around) to weigh in.

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When we chat about vibrators here on Smitten, lots of readers express interest and curiosity. However, many worry about how their boyfriends will react to using a vibrator while fooling around, or often, they worry their boyfriends will feel intimidated or even insecure about the addition. So for some truly expert advice on the matter, I asked two guys (who happen to design some of the coolest vibrators around) to weigh in.

Last night, I attended the official launch party for Jimmyjane's newest vibrator: the FORM 4. We here on Smitten have been having something of a love affair with these chic sex toys so it was a real treat to finally meet the brains behind the vibrations in person.

A+R, a very hip design shop in Venice, celebrated the unveiling of the FORM 4 by inviting Jimmyjane's Ethan Imboden and Yves Behar to speak at a very intimate panel discussion about design and sexuality. After the panel wrapped up, I flagged down the two fellows to dish on vibrators and boyfriends.

Rosemary: Lots of our readers would like to introduce a vibrator to couples time but aren't sure how to do it. From a guy's point of view, do you have any advice?

Yves: My advice for guys is it's just a plus. It doesn't take away from what's happening. It doesn't take away from what's happening between you and your partner. 50% of guys I speak about this side of my work with, they get a little bit insecure. As if they're not needed for some reason. But actually, it's just the other way around. It can be an enhancement. It can be an option; it's just something to be playful, to explore your partner's body with. Just like you're doing with all of your body parts. It's a good, fun place to start.

Ethan: The intimidation factor on a vibrator: there are a couple ways around that. One is to go with a vibrator that is non-phallic. As simple as it sounds, The Little Something was designed to be very slim and narrow and smaller than a penis. And it's inherently less intimidating. So the recommendation for the first time use for a couple would be to go with something like FORM 2 or FORM 3 that's so clearly and completely different and outside of that; there's no competition. So that's number one. Go with something that's not intimidating because it's non-representational.

Rosemary: What are some fun ways a woman could introduce her toy? Maybe leave it on the pillow? Or bring it up over a glass of wine?

Yves: I think the fun part of Jimmyjane products is that they can be left out. And you almost can't tell what they are. Or maybe there's a suspicion of what they could be and that creates a sort of a conversation. To me, design is a way to create conversation and to bridge a gap to initiate a playful idea. In a way you don't need to hide them because they subtly communicate what it is that they're for so they become the starter for a conversation.

Ethan: As a way to introduce, FORM 3 is great because it's such an intuitive way to hold a vibrator and use a vibrator. FORM 2 is great because it's a very playful sort of look. You look at it and you think it's like a little anime character. But to make it one step more applicable, for her to hold it in her hand and put his hand on top of her hand. Or vice versa. Put it in his hand, and guide his hand.

And then both people are involved but he's not fumbling and trying to figure out what exactly he's doing and having her say "no that's not quite right," and so on. It can all be non-verbal communication and often that's a lot easier for people. Put it in his hand and have her guide his hand. And no guy will object to giving a woman an amazing orgasm by being involved in that way.

Rosemary: And why do you think that some guys are intimidated by vibrators?

Ethan: I think that inherently there's a desire—it's a very sort of natural desire—to want to really understand and some cases posses (and that's sort of the negative end of the spectrum) their girlfriend's or significant other's sexuality. And they feel outside of that relationship of that woman to her own body. It's natural, of course she's going to know her own body. But it's intimidating and it can be distancing. So it's really important to find ways to invite him into that interaction. And make that really a natural thing.

Thanks guys!

I gave the FORM 4 a go earlier this week and I'm a fan. The vibrator is wonderfully flexible and its motor is located at its tip for extra strong vibrations. It can be used a number of different ways: internally for G-spot stimulation, externally for clitoral stimulation or even just against the outside of your vagina for a titillating massage.

While this bad boy isn't totally phallic—the owner of A+R said it reminded her of a small bowling pin—the FORM 4 might be intimading for a couple who has never used a vibrator before. As Ethan mentioned, newbies might consider the FORM 2 or FORM 3 for couples time. But as with all sex products, part of the fun is exploring and experimenting together. Use whichever vibrator you select as a learning experience. After all, they're sex toys; you're supposed to play with them and have fun!

Do you own a vibrator? If so, have you ever used it with your man? If you don't own a vibrator, are you curious? And what do you ladies make of the FORM 4?

Good, good, good, good vibrations!

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Product Photos: Jimmyjane