Let’s face it, you can only watch “It’s a Wonderful Life” so many times before you want George Bailey to just jump off the bridge already. Mix it up this holiday with pornography for the whole family. Stuck at home until Sunday with a dozen relatives? These erotic films will both pass the time and spark colorful conversation at the Thanksgiving table.
Picture a feature-length X-rated Magnum PI episode shot with Instagram filters, and you’re well on your way to imagining this classic American porn. Filmed way back in 1977 when pornographers used film (16mm in this case), writers worked up hokey-laborate plots to explain inexplicable couplings (okay, they still do that), men had mustaches, and everybody had pubic hair, this is one amazing time capsule. The star of the film is not John Holmes, as the credits may lead you to believe, but his legendary penis. In other words, there’s serious potential to frighten your younger cousins from ever wanted to have sex (or go to Hawaii).
Does your family like foreign films? Perhaps you can all pick up a little Francais with these cult-classics. This series of French softcore films was a global phenomenon when it was launched in 1974, and led to a surge in popularity of the genre. The series stars Sylvia Kristel as Emmanuelle, the young wife of a French diplomat, and begins as she travels to Thailand to be with him. When she immerses herself in the local culture and expatriate community, she explores her sexuality with ever-intensifying adventures in promiscuity. It beats playing pinochle with Uncle Fred.
What better way to bond with Mom than over Channing Tatum’s bare ass? This movie isn’t exactly pornography – there’s no real sex in it. However, it features adult themes including male strippers, excessive drug use, and Matthew McConaughey. Watch with caution if grandma has a heart condition.
No matter what you decide to watch, we hope you enjoy your holiday. Happy Thanksgiving, from Jimmyjane.