‘Twas the night before Christmas (Hanukkah, day five)
Not a creature was buzzing in the Jimmyjane hive.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the luster of the massage oil in AFTERGLOW.
Women were nestled, all snug in their beds,
While visions of vibrators danced in their heads.
Men also nestled, so cozy and snug,
Dreamt of masturbation sleeves (and maybe butt plugs).
When a clatter arose, way up on the roof,
It was Santa with gifts – rechargeable and waterproof.
He came down the chimney, placed some under the tree,
And some by the menorah, saying “I only do phthalate-free”.
His job wasn’t done ‘til all mansions and shanties,
Buzzed with vibrators, lubricants, candles and charitable panties.
When each stocking overflowed Jimmyjane pink,
He slid back up the chimney with a nod and a wink.
On FORM 2 and FORM 3, on FORMs 6 and 4,
On Pleasure Sets, LITTLE SOMETHINGS, on TCHO Chocolate and more!
I heard him exclaim as he flew ‘cross the chasm,
“Merry Chrismakah to all. And to all, an orgasm.”
from your friends at Jimmyjane.